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Questions to ask a cemetery
Every cemetery sets its own rules for markers, foundations, fees and decorations. These are questions, not answers: we don't know your cemetery's rules, and they differ. Each question comes with the official guidance that makes it worth asking.
“We provide a headstone, marker, or medallion to you and your family at no extra cost. But a private cemetery may charge setting, placement, maintenance, or other fees. We recommend that you ask about these additional costs when planning a burial in a private cemetery.”
Markers and monuments What kinds of headstones, markers and monuments do you allow in this section: upright, flat, bronze, granite, marble? Why ask: “Are there any requirements or restrictions on headstones or grave markers in the private cemetery?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “Additional considerations include what, if any, restrictions the cemetery places on burial vaults purchased elsewhere, the type of monuments or memorials it allows, and whether flowers or other remembrances may be placed on graves.” (Buying a Cemetery Site (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-06-16) ) “The style chosen must be permitted by the officials in charge of the private cemetery where it will be placed.” (Headstones, Markers, and Medallions, VA National Cemetery Administration ) Are there size, height or color limits? May I see them in writing? Why ask: “Are there any requirements or restrictions on headstones or grave markers in the private cemetery?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) Will you accept a government (VA) headstone, marker or medallion here, and in which sizes? Why ask: “Note: For burial in a private cemetery, check with officials at the specific cemetery to make sure they allow the style you want.” (Government headstones and markers FAQs, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “The Veteran's cemetery must approve the size of medallion you apply for.” (Medallions, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) Must the marker or monument come from you, or may I buy it elsewhere and have it set here? Why ask: “(The Rule does not apply to third-party sellers, such as casket and monument dealers, or to cemeteries that lack an on-site funeral home.)” (The FTC Funeral Rule (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-09-13) ) “Additional considerations include what, if any, restrictions the cemetery places on burial vaults purchased elsewhere, the type of monuments or memorials it allows, and whether flowers or other remembrances may be placed on graves.” (Buying a Cemetery Site (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-06-16) ) Who is allowed to set or install a marker here, and do you require your own crew? Why ask: “Will I have to pay to place, set, or take care of a VA headstone or marker? If yes, will this cost more than if I buy a private headstone or marker?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) Bases, setting and fees Do I need to buy a base, slab or foundation? From whom, and at what price? Why ask: “Do I need to buy a special marker base before ordering a VA headstone?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “The concrete base or slab is not furnished by the Government, and some cemeteries may require a base or slab as part of the installation. VA will not pay for or reimburse for this cost.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs , Page 2, flat bronze marker) What do you charge to set a headstone or marker, including a free government one? Why ask: “Will I have to pay to place, set, or take care of a VA headstone or marker? If yes, will this cost more than if I buy a private headstone or marker?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “We provide a headstone, marker, or medallion to you and your family at no extra cost. But a private cemetery may charge setting, placement, maintenance, or other fees. We recommend that you ask about these additional costs when planning a burial in a private cemetery.” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “Note: There is no charge for the headstone or marker itself, however arrangements for placing it in a private cemetery are the applicant's responsibility and all setting fees are at private expense.” (Headstones, Markers, and Medallions, VA National Cemetery Administration ) What other fees apply: opening and closing, liners or vaults, recording, maintenance? Why ask: “We provide a headstone, marker, or medallion to you and your family at no extra cost. But a private cemetery may charge setting, placement, maintenance, or other fees. We recommend that you ask about these additional costs when planning a burial in a private cemetery.” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “Most, but not all, cemeteries require you to purchase a grave liner, which will cost several hundred dollars. Note that there are charges — usually hundreds of dollars — to open a grave for interment and additional charges to fill it in.” (Buying a Cemetery Site (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-06-16) ) “Do I need to buy an outer container (sometimes called a "vault" or a "grave liner") to surround the casket? If yes, how much will this cost?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) Is perpetual or endowment care included, and what does it cover for the marker? Why ask: “Perpetual care on a cemetery plot sometimes is included in the purchase price, but it's important to clarify that point before you buy the site or service. If it's not included, look for a separate endowment care fee for maintenance and groundskeeping.” (Buying a Cemetery Site (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-06-16) ) “What type of trust fund does the private cemetery have to protect buyers?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) Can I have a written list of everything you'll provide and everything I must give you? Why ask: “Can I get a written list of the services my family and I will get from the private cemetery during the burial process?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) For a VA headstone in a private cemetery Will you sign VA Form 40-1330 (block 31) to certify the type and placement follow your rules? Why ask: “The applicant signs in block 23; the person agreeing to accept delivery (consignee) in block 27, and the cemetery or other responsible official in block 31.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs , Page 1, Signatures required) “A representative of a private cemetery or local government cemetery that accepts delivery of a memorial headstone or marker must certify on VA Form 40-1330 that placement of the headstone or marker adheres to the policies or guidelines of the cemetery in which the grave is located.” (38 CFR 38.631 , § 38.631(b)(1)(ii)) Will you accept delivery as the consignee (block 27), or should it go to a monument company or funeral home? Why ask: “The applicant signs in block 23; the person agreeing to accept delivery (consignee) in block 27, and the cemetery or other responsible official in block 31.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs , Page 1, Signatures required) “The consignee must utilize their equipment to unload the pallet or monument from the truck and inspect the headstone or marker for accuracy prior to installation.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs , Page 1) “P.O. BOX IS NOT ACCEPTABLE” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs , Block 25) If you offer a free Veteran gravesite, must I buy an adjoining site, and at what price? Why ask: “If the private cemetery is offering a free gravesite for Veterans, will I be required to buy a gravesite in addition to the free Veteran gravesite?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs ) “You may see ads for so-called "veterans' specials" by commercial cemeteries. These cemeteries sometimes offer a free plot for the veteran, but charge exorbitant rates for an adjoining plot for the spouse, as well as high fees for opening and closing each grave.” (Buying a Cemetery Site (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-06-16) ) Decorations and visits What may be placed on or near the grave: flowers, flags, plantings, vases, photographs? Why ask: “Additional considerations include what, if any, restrictions the cemetery places on burial vaults purchased elsewhere, the type of monuments or memorials it allows, and whether flowers or other remembrances may be placed on graves.” (Buying a Cemetery Site (consumer article), FTC (archived 2026-06-16) ) May family clean the headstone, and with what? (VA's guidance for government headstones: water first, no power washing, permission from the landowner.) Why ask: “Most headstones and markers can be cleaned with water alone.” (Cleaning Government-Furnished Headstones and Markers, VA National Cemetery Administration ) “VA prohibits the general public from power washing Government-furnished headstones and markers due to the damage it may cause to historical headstones.” (Cleaning Government-Furnished Headstones and Markers, VA National Cemetery Administration ) “Only clean headstones and markers when temperatures are above 40 degrees Fahrenheit and only after receiving permission from the property landowner.” (Cleaning Government-Furnished Headstones and Markers, VA National Cemetery Administration ) Print these questions
VA's own list
VA's page on burial in a private cemetery suggests these questions, word for word:
“If the private cemetery is offering a free gravesite for Veterans, will I be required to buy a gravesite in addition to the free Veteran gravesite?”
“Can I get a written list of the services my family and I will get from the private cemetery during the burial process?”
“What type of trust fund does the private cemetery have to protect buyers?”
“Are there any requirements or restrictions on headstones or grave markers in the private cemetery?”
“Do I need to buy a special marker base before ordering a VA headstone?”
“Will I have to pay to place, set, or take care of a VA headstone or marker? If yes, will this cost more than if I buy a private headstone or marker?”
“Do I need to buy an outer container (sometimes called a "vault" or a "grave liner") to surround the casket? If yes, how much will this cost?”
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