Marking a grave: what's free, what the cemetery will ask, and what to write

What to have ready

Before you fill out VA Form 40-1330 or 40-1330M, gather these. Tick them off as you go; nothing you tick is saved or sent.

• A copy of the discharge document (DD Form 214 or equivalent), a VA pre-need decision letter, or another official service record. Send copies, not originals. Source: “Please attach a copy of the deceased Veteran's discharge certificate (DD Form 214 or equivalent), the VA Pre-Need Eligibility Determination letter, or a copy of other official document(s) establishing qualifying military service. If you are unable to locate copies of military records, apply anyway, as VA will attempt to obtain records necessary to make an eligibility determination. Do not send original documents; they will not be returned.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 1, How to submit a claim); “The DD Form 214 has been issued by all military services since January 1, 1950. Before January 1, 1950, several similar forms were used by the military services.” (Veterans Military Discharge Documents, VA National Cemetery Administration).
• The legal name exactly as it should be cut. The form's name block allows no nicknames or titles. Source: “NAME OF DECEASED TO BE INSCRIBED ON HEADSTONE OR MARKER (No Nicknames or titles permitted)” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Block 3).
• Dates of birth and death, and the Veteran's Social Security or service number. Source: “SOCIAL SECURITY NO. AND/OR SERVICE NO.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Block 7).
• Your choice of headstone or marker and material, after checking that the cemetery allows it. Source: “TYPE OF HEADSTONE OR MARKER REQUESTED (Please ensure marker selection is permitted at selected cemetery)” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Block 15); “Note: For burial in a private cemetery, check with officials at the specific cemetery to make sure they allow the style you want.” (Government headstones and markers FAQs, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs).
• Optional inscription items: full dates, highest rank, awards, war service, an emblem of belief by number, and any additional words. Rank and awards need supporting documents. Source: “You can also choose to inscribe: The full beginning and ending dates of the person's life The highest rank the Veteran attained The Veteran's awards and war service An emblem of belief” (Government headstones and markers FAQs, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs); “The applicant must submit supporting documentation to VA to have the highest rank and/or awards inscribed on the headstone or marker.” (Headstone and Marker Inscriptions, VA National Cemetery Administration); “Information for additional items must be in English or non-English text about the decedent (provided by an authorized applicant), consisting only of characters of the Latin alphabet and/or numbers.” (Headstone and Marker Inscriptions, VA National Cemetery Administration).
• For a spouse or child inscription: a document showing the relationship, such as a marriage license or birth certificate. Source: “Add the inscription information in block 18 of the Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (VA Form 40-1330). When you submit the form, please include documents that show the spouse or dependent relationship (like a marriage license or birth certificate).” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs).
• If you're applying as a personal representative: written authorization. Source: “PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE (Person responsible for decisions concerning burial of decedent; include written authorization)” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Block 20).
• A business that will accept delivery, with its street address and phone number, and a signature from someone there. No post office boxes. They unload and inspect it. Source: “The applicant signs in block 23; the person agreeing to accept delivery (consignee) in block 27, and the cemetery or other responsible official in block 31.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 1, Signatures required); “P.O. BOX IS NOT ACCEPTABLE” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Block 25); “The consignee must utilize their equipment to unload the pallet or monument from the truck and inspect the headstone or marker for accuracy prior to installation.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 1).
• A signature from the cemetery (or the person responsible for the property) certifying the type and placement follow its rules. Source: “The applicant signs in block 23; the person agreeing to accept delivery (consignee) in block 27, and the cemetery or other responsible official in block 31.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 1, Signatures required); “A representative of a private cemetery or local government cemetery that accepts delivery of a memorial headstone or marker must certify on VA Form 40-1330 that placement of the headstone or marker adheres to the policies or guidelines of the cemetery in which the grave is located.” (38 CFR 38.631, § 38.631(b)(1)(ii)).
• A plan, and a price from the cemetery, for setting the headstone. VA doesn't pay to install it in a private cemetery, and doesn't furnish a base. Source: “Note: There is no charge for the headstone or marker itself, however arrangements for placing it in a private cemetery are the applicant's responsibility and all setting fees are at private expense.” (Headstones, Markers, and Medallions, VA National Cemetery Administration); “The Government is not responsible for costs to install or remove the headstone or marker in private cemeteries.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 1); “The concrete base or slab is not furnished by the Government, and some cemeteries may require a base or slab as part of the installation. VA will not pay for or reimburse for this cost.” (VA Form 40-1330, Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 2, flat bronze marker).
• For a medallion: VA Form 40-1330M, the size the cemetery approves, and the cemetery's signature. Source: “The Veteran's cemetery must approve the size of medallion you apply for.” (Medallions, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs); “A representative from the Veteran's cemetery must review and sign your application.” (Medallions, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs); “The claimant signs in block 21; the cemetery or other responsible official signs in block 26.” (VA Form 40-1330M, Claim for Government Medallion to Affix to a Private Marker (March 2025), U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Page 1, Signatures required).
• The cemetery's written rules on markers, so the request matches what it allows. Source: “Are there any requirements or restrictions on headstones or grave markers in the private cemetery?” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs).
• If the Veteran had a VA pre-need decision letter, the note for block 33: "Decedent has a VA pre-need decision letter." Source: “Note: In their time of need, when a family member files a claim for a headstone or marker, they should include this note in block 33: "Decedent has a VA pre-need decision letter."” (Burial in a private cemetery, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs).

Print the checklist

Go deeper

• VA headstones and markers: the seven types with sizes and inscription limits, who's eligible, inscriptions, emblems of belief and how to apply.
• Medallions: the bronze emblem for a privately purchased headstone.
• The Funeral Rule and headstones: what the FTC's rule covers here, and what it doesn't.
• Questions to ask a cemetery: a printable list, with the reason behind each question.
• Glossary: granite, bronze, flat and upright, consignee, lithichrome and more.

Common questions

Is a VA headstone really free?

The headstone or marker itself is. VA says there's no charge for it, but in a private cemetery placing it is the family's responsibility and setting fees are at private expense. In VA national cemeteries the staff set it at no cost.

Can a spouse get a VA headstone?

Only in a national cemetery, a state or tribal Veterans cemetery, or a military post or base cemetery. In a private cemetery, VA can add the spouse's name, and for Veterans who died on or after October 1, 2019 the dates too, to the Veteran's headstone.

Does the FTC Funeral Rule cover headstones?

It depends on who sells them. The Rule covers businesses that sell or offer both funeral goods and funeral services to the public. The FTC describes monument dealers and cemeteries without an on-site funeral home as typically outside it, but a cemetery or other business that sells both is covered. Funeral providers can't claim a cemetery requires something when it doesn't.

Can a grave that already has a headstone get a VA marker?

It depends on what kind of headstone it is. If it's a privately purchased headstone, VA can furnish a government headstone or marker as well if the Veteran died on or after November 1, 1990 (or was a Medal of Honor recipient who served on or after April 6, 1917); or, for Veterans who served on or after April 6, 1917, a bronze medallion to attach to the private headstone instead. It's one or the other, not both. A private headstone that was never set or is damaged beyond repair counts as unmarked. If the grave already has a government headstone or marker, the replacement rules apply instead: VA replaces one in the cases the regulation lists, such as damage beyond repair.